[personal profile] tlvop
I went to a fisher church group tonight. I left finding myself...strangely angry and upset. I found no fault with the logic they used, and I learned from their sermon...but. But.

A fisher church is a church that "fishes" very purposefully. They tame and snip and set things behind lotteries and funny skits that have nothing to do with the subject and fortyfive minutes of entertainment before they even mention the name of God. The basic idea is that if you don't scare off the non-Christians maybe you can "lure" them into the kingdom of Christianity.

Excuse me? My God is terrifying. I believe in a Lord who spoke the world into being, who commands light and dark and molds the earth with his hands. I believe in a God whose very thoughts are vaster than I can ever image, even if I try for all my life I can not wrap my mind fully around a single one. I believe in a Lord whose idea of <i>love</i> scares me almost as His idea of <i>justice</i> because both of them are so far beyond what I can even bear.

I believe in a God who drives me to tears because of His sheer being, who lifts me up with a gentle breath and a word when I am stumbling from lack of sleep or lack of skill or lack of peace. I believe in a God who remembers I am dust, and leads me with a loving hand.

I believe in a God who knows me, who really <i>knows me</i>, better than I could ever hope to know myself, and for some reason still loves me enough to die even though I am not a holy person, or even a good one in my innermost heart. I believe in a God who cried with His heart "Why will you die? Repent, and live!" (paraphrase Ezekiel 18, near the end) because He was torn by His children running themselves into the rocks when He was there to rescue them.

I believe in a God who saw me powerless and awash in weakness and took mercy. I believe in a God who crafted the galaxies in their jewelled beauty and the physical laws that keep them in their heavenly dance, who thought up atoms and molecules and even organic chemistry and saw that it was good, who thought up crazy creatures like the platypus just to make us scratch our heads and maybe laugh if we saw the joke.

I believe in a personal God, who is unknowable but always seeks to make Himself known.

My God is terrifying. No matter how much pop culture you hide Him behind, you won't--you can't--change that.
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